


New World Drabbles

by krazieLeylines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Drabbles, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Lots of Polyamory, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, many more ships, will be added as i add chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6817204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/pseuds/krazieLeylines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This will just be a collection of drabbles about my otps in the new world. Each chapter will focus on one ship. Some ships may be poly, some will not. Many of the ships will be a combination of Karkat, Dave, Terezi, Nepeta, and Jade. Due to the sheer amount of ships that will be involved, I may just add in a shipping chart instead of putting them in the tags.</p><p>I have so many ships. So many. You have no idea. I put all of them in a random list generator to see which order I should write the chapters in, but I may go out of order if I get inspired by a particular ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New World Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter will be of my ot5: Karkat/Dave/Terezi/Nepeta/Jade

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo on board IMPORTANT ASS BUSINESS YO--  
CG: WHO THE FUCK LET DAVE NAME THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS BOARD?  
CG: EVERY DAMN TIME I WANT TO GET SOME SERIOUS ASS SHIT DONE, I HAVE TO LOOK AT HIS RIDICULOUSLY IRONIC COOLKID SHTICK. A FAÇADE THAT HAS BEEN PLAYED SO RODHUMPING LONG BY NOW THAT IT HAS ORBITIED PAST THE STATE OF HILARITY TWICE, AND IS NOW RIGHT FUCKING SQUARED IN THE DREADED CRINGEWORTHY SHIT THAT ONLY MAKES OLD PEOPLE LAUGH ZONE.   
CG: IT IS HORRENDOUSLY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE TO THE WHOLE BLITHERING FUCKING PURPOSE OF THE BOARD ITSELF.  
CG: BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER.  
CG: I’M GETTING OFF TOPIC, AND DAVE’S SHITTY BOARD NAME CHOICES ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO MAKE A GIANT STEAMING SHIT ABOUT.  
CG: I’M OPENING UP THIS MEMO SO THAT WE HAVE A PLACE TO DISCUSS FUTURE PLANS FOR THIS NEW EARTH. SINCE WE HAVE YET TO POPULATE IT WITH ANYTHING BUT CARAPACES AND CONSORTS. AND THEY’RE GRAND AS FUCK AND ALL THAT, BUT I THINK EVERYONE HAS BEEN SO MOTHERFUCKING INVESTED IN BEING HAPPY THAT WE FORGOT THAT WE STILL HAVE TO PROPAGATE THE NEXT GENERATION OF TROLL AND HUMANKIND.  
CG: AND UNLESS I’M MISSING SOMETHING OBVIOUS LIKE THE MORONIC ASSGRAB I AM, THEN THAT WILL LIKELY INCLUDE…  
CG: WELL, SHIT I’D RATHER NOT DISCUSS.  
CG: SO, YEAH.  
CG: IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO ENLIGHTEN THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT, IE ME, ON HOW AND WHEN WE PLAN ON ACCOMPLISHING THIS TASK, THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO DO THAT.  
CG: I HAVE GIVEN YOU THE SPACE IN WHICH TO BLATHER ON TO YOUR BLOOD PUMP’S NOOKFISTING CONTENT.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo--  
TG: karkat what the shit man its one in the morning  
TG: go back to sleep  
TG: you can vent about your sexual hangups later  
CG: SAYS THE SHITCRISP HYPOCRITE WHO’S RESPONDING TO MY MEMO AT ONE IN THE MORNING.  
CG: WHY AREN’T YOU ASLEEP?  
TG: dude idk my sleep schedule is majorly fucked up  
TG: ive tried everything ive even counted sheep and i got all the way to a hundred and eight before i realized that shit wasnt going to work  
TG: so here i am scouring through old memos and reminding myself of all the dickish things ive said before that i meant in a sarcastic way but may not have been read the right way because you cant read tone of voice through text  
TG: and then i get a notification that youve opened a new memo so im like i gotta check that shit out  
TG: and here i am  
TG: telling you to get back to bed like a shitcrisp hypocrite  
CG: FASCINATING STORY.  
TG: i know im a master at spinning enthralling narratives  
TG: but ok you have a fair point that was kind of hypocritical of me to say  
TG: i still want to tell you to get some sleep though  
TG: probs because i care more about your health than my own  
TG: shit that was cheesy  
CG: IT WAS CHEESY, AND ALSO SUPER FUCKING SAD. DON’T VALUE ME ABOVE YOURSELF, YOU PUTRID ROMANTIC DOUCHEWRIGGLER. YOU ALSO DESERVE GOOD HEALTH.  
CG: I CARE ABOUT YOU. AND DON’T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FOR MY SAKE EITHER, YOU ABSOLUTE DOUCHENUGGET. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT.  
TG: man alright alright fine  
TG: you have won me over with your overwhelming aggressive kindness and love  
TG: god weve become such a nauseatingly cute couple lately  
CG: I KNOW.  
TG: i love it  
CG: GOD FUCK, ME TOO.  
CG: I’M GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.  
TG: nah man we dropped our asses into this web of moon eyes and flirty looks knowing damn well sure that we wanted this  
TG: at least i did  
\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo--  
GC: WOW YOU TWO N3V3R RUN OUT OF W4YS TO 3MB4RR4SS YOURS3LV3S DO YOU  
GC: 4R3 YOU GUYS 4W4R3 TH1S 1S ST1LL 4 PUBL1C M3MO  
GC: 4ND 1N TH3 MORN1NG WH3N 3V3RYON3 W4K3S UP TH3Y W1LL 4LL R34D THROUGH YOUR LOV3 SONN3TS TO 34CH OTH3R  
GC: R3TCH1NG 4LL TH3 W4Y  
TG: tz what are you doing up  
TG: its seriously late and you need your beauty sleep boo  
GC: 1 C4NT SL33P  
GC: >:[  
TG: man looks like youre in the same boat as karkles and i  
CG: DON’T CALL ME KARKLES.  
GC: K4RKL3S SHUT 1T D4V3 C4N C4LL YOU WH4T3V3R H3 PL34S3S  
TG: no stop  
TG: you two are not doing this here  
TG: its hard enough with all this poly romance and shit  
TG: you guys know i hate when you pitch flirt around me i know youre a kismesis magnet terezi but just do your sexual rivalry thing where i cant see it ok  
GC: BL4RRRRG OK F1N3 1 W1LL PL4Y N1C3  
CG: SECONDED.   
CG: SHIT. THIS MEMO COMPLETELY DISOLVED INTO ROMANCY COUPLE BULLSHIT, DIDN’T IT?  
CG: GOD, I WANT TO DIE THINKING ABOUT EVERYONE READING THIS.  
TG: dont worry man ill just let everyone know this particular memo was just you talking to yourself for fifty pages and no one will go near it  
CG: WOW.  
GC: TH4TS HON3STLY BR1LL14NT D4V3  
TG: i know im basically a genius  
\--arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo--  
AC: :33 < *ac pounces into the confursation completely unannounced and unexpected*  
AC: :33 < why did no one tell me we were having an early morning red romcom purrty on the message board?  
TG: nep youre awake too  
AC: :33 < well i wasnt at furst but i furgot to set my phone to silent and all the buzzing woke me!  
CG: WAIT, YOU DIDN’T TURN NOTIFICATIONS FROM TROLLIAN OFF?  
AC: :33 < well i dont like to k33p people waiting yknow  
TG: god thats precious terezi karkat isnt nepeta precious  
GC: 1NDUB1T4BLY SH3 1S TH3 MOST PR3C1OUS OF 4LL C4T TH3M3D TROLLS  
CG: AS MUCH AS I HATE TO AGREE WITH TEREZI, YES, NEPETA IS CERTAINLY SICKENINGLY CUTE.  
AC: :33 < oh you mewst stop!  
AC: :33 < h33h33  
AC: :33 < even if no one outside of our unconventional concupiscent pentadrangle reads this memo its still embarrassing knowing this entire confursation is public  
TG: alright well cease the barrage of affection for now  
TG: speaking of our polyromantic clusterfuck of overlapping quadrants someone should totally invite jade to this convo  
AC: :33 < thats a good idea dave!  
AC: :33 < jade would purrobably be the best purrson in answering your questions karkat  
CG: MY QUESTIONS?  
AC: :33 < the ones you opened up this memo fur  
AC: :33 < about how we are going to populate this renewed planet with trolls and humans  
AC: :33 < a very impurrtant question to ask especially beclaws you were the one tasked with leading the next generation of trolls remember?  
CG: HOW THE SHIT COULD I FORGET?   
CG: THAT SINGLE DUMBFUCK OF A FACTOID IS LODGED DEEP IN MY CRANIUM. EVERY TIME I REMEMBER ITS EXISTENCE, WHICH IS APPROXIMATELY EVERY TWO MINUTES, I WANT TO HAVE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN.  
AC: :33 < what why?  
AC: :33 < you will make a furtastic leader karkat!  
CG: LIKE I MADE A GREAT LEADER DURING OUR SESSION?  
CG: OH WAIT, THAT’S RIGHT, I FUCKED SUCKED HARDER THAN A ROMANCE CHALLENGED FAILURE DURING HIS FIRST FILIAL PAIL SEASON.  
TG: haha oh wow is that a real thing  
GC: OF COURS3 1T’S 4 R34L TH1NG D4V3 4ND 1TS NO L4UGH1NG M4TT3R 31TH3R  
GC: SO M4NY 1NNOC3NT TROLLS W3R3 SL4UGHT3R3D BY OUR D1CT4TORSH1P OF 4 GOV3RNM3NT BY DO1NG SOM3TH1NG 4S R1D1CULOUS 4S F41L1NG TO F1ND TWO P3OPL3 TO COPUL4T3 W1TH 1N T1M3 TO SUBM1T TH31R SLURRY TO TH3 DRON3S  
GC: 1T W4S JUST ON3 OF TH3 NUM3ROUS 1NJUST1C3S FROM WH1CH W3 SUFF3R3D  
TG: youre fucking with me right  
GC: OH OF COURS3  
GC: WH1L3 1T 1S 4 G3NU1N3 TR4G3DY 4ND 1F W3 CONT1NU3D TO L1V3 ON 4LT3RN14 LONG 3NOUGH W3 WOULD H4V3 B33N FORC3D TO H4V3 S3X 3V3N 1F W3 W3R3N’T R34DY TO DO SO W1TH P3OPL3 W3 W3R3N’T R34DY TO DO SO W1TH 1N F34R OF D34TH  
GC: TROLLK1ND H4S H1STOR1C4LLY COP3D W1TH TH1S STR4NG3 BUT 4LL TOO R34L HORROR BY JOK1NG 4BOUT 1T SO 1TS NOT OFF3NS1V3 OR 4NYTH1NG OR 4T L34ST 1V3 N3V3R M3T 4NYON3 OFF3ND3D BY SUCH 4 JOK3  
GC: 4LTHOUGH TH3N 4G41N 1 N3V3R M3T 4NYON3 WHO LOST SOM3ON3 TO TH3 F1L14L P41L DRON3S  
TG: wow that is probably the most fucked up history lesson ive ever gotten thanks  
CG: CAN WE PLEASE REFOCUS ON THE ACTUAL ISSUE HERE? DOES THE FACT THAT I AM A SHIT LEADER AND YET EXPECTED TO LEAD THE ENTIRE FUTURE TROLL EMPIRE BOTHER NO ONE ELSE?  
TG: dude you dont have to do that like anytime soon  
TG: nor do you even have to do it at all like i know jades denizen said she wanted you to do it but that doesnt mean you have to listen to her  
TG: echidna is probably hibernating underground for the rest of her existence anyway  
TG: the whole point of escaping the game was so that we didnt have to submit to the roles or the destinies that it assigned us like rose certainly never played the rain or whatever the shit it was she was supposed to do  
TG: we never faced off against lord english or even his dipshit miniature version  
TG: if you dont want to be the emperor of trolls or whatever  
TG: just dont do it  
TG: and if echidna complains then ill time freeze her trap shut for the rest of eternity  
GC: OH WOW D4V3 SWOON  
GC: 1 LOV3 1T WH3N YOU G3T 4LL P1SSY PROT3CT1V3 OF TH3 P3OPL3 YOU C4R3 4BOUT  
GC: <3 <3 <3  
AC: :33 < i agr33 with terezi youre like a storybook knight in shining armor  
AC: :33 < except instead of an enchanted blade you carry an arsenal of sharp words and wit in which to make people f33l better about themselves  
AC: :33 < and also an enchanted blade :33  
TG: shit girls i know im dreamy but give a guy room to breathe  
TG: i mean you can continue telling me how great i am dont let my humble nature stop you from expressing your devotion  
TG: karkat do you want to weigh in on how lovable i am  
TG: ....  
TG: karkat  
CG: SORRY I WENT TO WAKE JADE UP.  
\--gardenGnostic [GG] responded to memo--  
GG: what the heck is going on here  
GG: you guys realize it isnt even two in the morning yet right  
GG: what cant wait until sunrise  
TG: shit sorry jade   
TG: karkat i was joking i didnt mean we should actually wake jade up  
GG: well its too late now im up  
GG: and i kinda dont want to go back to bed knowing im missing out on this   
GG: whatever this is  
GG: all the gang is here right  
AC: :33 < *ac leaps on top of ggs lap to peppurr her adorable face with kisses*  
AC: :33 < hi jade!  
GG: hehehe hi nepeta  
GC: 1M H3R3 TOO  
GC: BUT D4V3 PUT 4 B4N ON P1TCH T4LK 1N TH1S M3MO  
GG: aww dave thats no fun  
TG: dont argue sweetheart i arrived in this memo second so i get to make the rules  
TG: unless karkat vetoes them i guess  
TG: where is our cantankerous crab anyway  
CG: SORRY, I’M IN JADE’S ROOM. I LEFT MY GRUBTOP IN MY BLOCK, BUT IT’S TOO FUCKING COLD TO GO BACK NOW.  
TG: are you two sharing a computer  
TG: thats adorable  
CG: YEAH, WE’RE PRETTY FUCKING DELIGHTFUL.  
TG: ok but now that youre here jade im curious  
TG: how are we planning on repopulating the earth with little human and troll babies  
TG: i mean i know theres the traditional method and the trolls have the matriorb but  
TG: were kind of limited when it comes to heterosexual couples  
TG: theres you and me of course  
TG: and then john and roxy  
TG: but what then are our children going to have to marry their children because they would all be cousins right  
TG: we dont have a really large gene pool between the eight of us kids since most of us are related to nearly everybody else so even if we take turns making babies with people were not romantically entangled with in the end all our children will still all be cousins  
TG: is there no avoiding the incest jade  
GG: dont worry too much dave!  
GG: ive been pondering that very puzzle for the last few weeks and i think ive got a much better solution  
TG: ok cool  
TG: pls tell me it doesnt involve being a father because i havent even decided if i want to be a father yet  
TG: assuming i still have a choice in the matter  
GG: of course you have a choice in the matter dave!  
GG: there will always be ample choices in this new world of ours  
GG: especially with all our god powers and advanced technology ive brought along with us from the game  
TG: meaning  
GG: meaning that we can just use the ectobiology machinery to grab samples of humans from the past to make new babies  
GG: no intercourse or pregnancy required!!! :)  
TG: oh  
TG: well in retrospect that sounds kind of obvious  
AC: :33 < ooooh!! can we use it to make new trolls too  
AC: :33 < im uhh  
AC: :33 < im not sure im ready to uhh  
GG: yes we can use it to create baby trolls too :)  
GC: OH TH4NK GOD  
GC: W1THOUT F1L14L P41L DRON3S TO M1X TH3 SLURRY TH4T T4SK WOULD H4V3 F4LL3N TO US 4ND  
GC: 3WWWW  
GC: W3 TROLLS N33D TO F1ND 4 N3W W4Y TO R3PRODUC3  
TG: oh my shitting ass fuck  
TG: you need to stir your own jizz  
TG: how can your society continue to be simultaneously the most disgusting and the most hilarious thing  
TG: i dont know whether to gag or to laugh  
CG: DAVE, YOU HUMANS SHIT YOUR YOUNG OUT OF YOUR BODIES.  
AC: :33 < ewwwwwwwwwwwwww  
AC: :33 < can we talk about something else  
AC: :33 < anything else?? :((  
GG: of course nepeta  
GG: i believed i was rudely interrupted anyway  
GG: as i was saying we can use the ectobiology technology to create a whole generation of humans and trolls with a vast array of genes  
GG: and we can probably count on some carapaces and consorts to raise them  
GG: so we have to be careful not to make more babies than there are people willing to care for them because as well all know babies cant just raise themselves  
GG: and if we really want to  
GG: dave you could take us a few generations into the future when there are more cities and stuff  
TG: wait really  
TG: oh shit yeah i could do that  
CG: YOU MEAN WE COULD LIVE IN A PROPER FUCKING LAWNRING WITH NEIGHBORS AND SHIT?   
GG: if we wanted to then yes  
CG: HELL, I’LL TAKE ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS CRAMPED CARAPACE APARTMENT STRUCTURE. THESE BLOCKS AND HALLS WERE NOT CONSTRUCTED FOR SOMEONE OF MY STATURE.  
AC: :33 < i second that!  
AC: :33 < and im not even that tall :PP  
GC: TH1S SOUNDS STUP1D BUT  
GC: 1V3 4LW4YS K1ND OF W4NT3D TO L1V3 1N 4 L4WNR1NG N34R 4 C1TY  
GC: ONC3 1 W4S 4 PROP3R 4DULT 4ND STUFF  
GC: C1T13S 4R3 WH3R3 4LL TH3 B1G CR1M3 1S  
GC: >:]  
TG: guys are we seriously planning our futures together  
TG: god were all practically married now  
CG: THAT’S ANOTHER THING I WANT. TO BE HUMAN MARRIED.  
TG: well usually a marriage consists of two people  
GG: that was the old earth!! we make the rules now dave :D  
TG: oh right  
TG: shit lets get human married everyone  
GG: dave!!!!! D:  
GG: thats not a proper proposal at all  
GG: its super unromantic and i will not stand for it  
CG: JADE IS RIGHT DAVE, THAT PROPOSAL SUCKED ASS.  
TG: ok jesus ill propose later in an unironic romantic fashion to satisfy your inner menopausal women  
GG: good! :D  
GG: now that thats settled we should all get some sleep for real now  
GG: we can talk our plans over with the others tomorrow  
TG: ok sounds good  
CG: I’M ACTUALLY TIRED NOW, SO SLEEP SOUNDS NICE.  
AC: :33 < *ac yawns wide with both her sharp fanged mouths in a wordless assent*  
GC: Y34H 1M OK W1TH TH4T  
GG: goodnight everyone!!!!  
GG: i love you all!!!!!! :D :D  
GG: <3  
GG: except for you terezi  
GG: <3<  
GC: S4M3 TO YOU GRUB BUTT 4ND TO YOU TOO K4RK4T  
GC: <3< <3<  
GC: D4V3 4ND N3P3T4 1 LOV3 YOU TOO GOODN1GHT  
GC: <3 <3  
AC: :33 < i love efurryone equally and youre all great and wonderfurl  
AC: :33 < *ac gives efurryone a quick peck on the ch33k and bounds off back to her nest*  
CG: TEREZI YOU’RE AN ASS BUT I STILL LOVE YOU AND HATE YOU ANYWAY. EVERYONE ELSE, YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL. I’M GOING TO RETREAT TO MY COON NOW.  
TG: youre all wackos but youre my wackos  
TG: gnight and have nice dreams about me being your shining knight in armor or whatever else you fantasize about me  
TG: and now im shutting this embarrassing ass memo the fuck down  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] closed memo--

**Author's Note:**

> The next ship on the list is Sollux♥️Aradia
> 
> Comment below if you have a particular thing about their live together post-sburb you'd like addressed


End file.
